| A Red Ryder 200 Shot Carbine-Action Range Model Air Rifle |
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| Trading Winning Hands for Losing Bets |
[07 Dec 2009|08:19pm] |
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I really want to go to Prague. Prague or Bratislava. I don't know why, it just seems like it would be nice to go to one of those cities. It's like when I was 19, I had this urge to go to Utah for no real reason.
Today was Pearl Harbor day. "A date which will live in infamy" has basically been forgotten two generations later. What a crock of bullshit. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I have two exams tomorrow, and I need to get a 90% on both of them. After that, my exam week is pretty chill.
Well, I am off to go study and fuck around on facebook for the next 5 or 6 hours.
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[07 Dec 2009|02:20am] |
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Happy Pearl Harbor Day.
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| Big and Bright |
[02 Dec 2009|02:07am] |
It's strange how easily memories are brought back with pictures. I was just looking at some old pictures from the time that I went to Colorado. Definitely one of the best road trips that I've ever been on. Flew into Denver in the morning, hung out at CU in the evening, then drove back to Michigan. It was a very odd, fun, and amazing two day adventure. I almost didn't go, because I thought that I was too busy. Then I actually sat down and thought about it, and decided that I wasn't.
I feel like I've lost that spontaneity. I know that you readers know this, I talk about it a lot in here. There's this whole "you could do that, BUT this is what you really should be doing". I've been listening to that voice a lot more lately. I guess that's because I'm blossoming into a very nice adult. I have student loans, I'm working towards a professional business degree that will get me a sweet office job where I have a desk and wear a suit and tie to work every day, and talk about why I'm buying stock in Coke instead of Pepsi. Maybe.
Or maybe I'm not as spontaneous because my friends aren't as spontaneous anymore, as well?
Maybe we're all growing up?
If it's the latter, then in about 20 to 30 years from now we are all going to be doing some kick ass shit when we all start hitting our mid-life crises.
Who the fuck knows?
I have exams next week, a week in Lansing, then I'm going to Houston for ten days. I can't wait, it will be good for me to take a nice long trip.
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| Yeah |
[22 Nov 2009|10:18pm] |
My life has no direction. Always spinning round and round, and no matter how hard I try I can't seem to get my ass up off the ground. I have no money, but that's okay, I have nothing to spend it on anyway. People seem to like me better when I'm not around. Let me tell you the story of the boy who lost his mind. Trying to find a place in life in a life where a good place is hard to find. I want to go back in time to find out when I crossed that line. 'Cause I used to care about what I do, and now I'm wasting all my time. My future was so bright, but now it's getting hard to see. I really don't know just how to get out from under this cloud that follows me. When will I ever get ahead? I hope it's before I am dead. I'm having the time of my life, but the best times are never free. I know I sometimes act like a space cadet. I'm surprised you haven't kicked my ass out yet. I know one day TV will be my doom. I'm an astronaut who never leaves his room. I don't have any time to deal with you. I have way too many pointless things to do. Let me tell you the story of the boy who lost his mind. Trying to find a place in life in a life where a good place is hard to find. I want to go back in time to find out when I crossed that line. 'Cause I used to care about what I do, and now I'm wasting all my time. At least I'm having a good time.
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[18 Nov 2009|12:43pm] |
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This all seems repetitive.
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| Your memory signals are weak |
[13 Nov 2009|05:53pm] |
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music |
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The Highlife - "Muppets" |
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First weekend in Mt. Pleasant in a while. Kyle and Emily came up last night, and then we met up with Terrance. It was a pretty good time. I spilled coffee on my jeans.
Justyne is coming up here tonight. She is on her way right now. I got a $25 free play at the casino, so I think that I'm going to use that.
4 weeks left of school. Then winter break. I'm excited for break. I'm going to Houston for Christmas this year. Should be a good time. It will be nice to get away from the snow. Gah, it hasn't even snowed yet this year and I'm already sick of it.
I'm going to be 24 in ten days. Fuck that shit.
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| I'm a Botswanian lumberjack, and I ain't never had a job. |
[03 Nov 2009|11:36am] |
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The Postal Service - "Samba 1000" |
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Ahhhh!
Whenever my furnace is on, my whole apartment shakes, and there is a strange noise coming from this little area under my stairs.
I hope everything is okay.
Halloween weekend was a total blast. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were all a lot of fun.
Halloween night was strangely reminiscent of Halloween senior year. After the festivities, we ended up driving around singing Hanson and the Outfield. I liked it. Only this time we didn't have a curfew, and had been drinking.
Myspace has lost it's last bit of individuality by changing their homepage layout to be more like facebook's. I hate it now. Myspace is gone, facebook will soon follow, and all that will be left will be livejournal. Just wait, in a couple of years, lj will be as awesome as it was in 03/04.
<6 weeks left of school. I can't wait for winter break. I think that I'm getting out of my rut.
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| It will cost you a dollar first |
[16 Oct 2009|01:41am] |
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accomplished |
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Soul Asylum - "Misery" |
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Half-way through the semester.
ACC 201: A BIS 104: B CHM 101: B ENG 201: A- MTH 107: A-
They'll probably all drop a little bit, because I'm done with school this semester, but I'll more than likely finish above a 3.0
Justyne and I are going to see Third Eye Blind next monday. I'm soooo pumped, 9th row!
I'm excited to come home this weekend. On Saturday I'm going to drive down to Ann Arbor and get an MRI done on my brain. It's for this MSU/UM study that I've been a part of since I was 5 or 6. They're going to pay me like, $400 plus gas, so that's pretty sweet.
I've been so busy with school this week, I'm glad that next week isn't going to be as busy.
My favorite part about working in the dorm cafeteria is the free meal at the end of my shift. The other day I had : An Italian grinder, chicken stir-fry, a pesto wrap, a breakfast burrito, and peach cobbler. It was all amazing.
I don't take customer service seriously at work, at all. On grinder day some kid came up and asked me if he could have a grinder without lettuce, and I looked right at him and said "no". He kind of stuttered for a bit, and then I said "I can give you one and you can pick the lettuce off." He took it..
I like my job, though. It's easy, I never have to work past 7:30, and I don't work weekends.
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| I see you're drunk, I start to laugh |
[14 Oct 2009|03:00am] |
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mood |
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okay |
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The Martinis - "Free" |
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Right now, I'd like to be at Jenn's apartment, listening to "Molly" by Sponge, and playing with that big ass candle that she used to have. Or driving around, trying to find the sunrise. Or in DeWitt in the springtime, walking around outside right after we spent the entire night awake, talking. Or smoking a cigarette on the front porch of the HXH.
Basically, anywhere but alone in my apartment, trying to write my english paper.
Even though I've had the paper open for hours, just staring at it, I can pull up livejournal and start typing away.
I wish that all of my friends still hung out with each other on a more constant basis. I work AND go to school less than I did in high school, why does it feel like I had so much more free time then? I come home on Friday, and before I know it, I have to head back up here.
"Back then the future was something that was coming up, that I had to look forward too. Now, I have to man up, and make the future happen. I'm not the little kid in the back seat of mommy and daddy's car, waiting to get to grandma's, I'm the person making sure that I don't miss the exit."
That's about it.
Holy fuck! I'm going to be 24 in 5 weeks! I'll be entering my mid-twenties. My hairline is starting to recede, and my back hurts all of the time. I didn't know that this aging shit starting so early. Maybe I've just lived a really self-destructive life?
I'll just say that it's a combination of both...
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| What? |
[12 Oct 2009|03:52pm] |
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mood |
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confused |
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The Failures Union - "Friends in Jail" |
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I want to enter a study abroad program. I'm thinking Fall of 2010 if I get into state. I'd like to go to the UK, or Australia. Somewhere where I don't have to know a second language to get around.
Ah, the American in me. I fucking love it.
Since I don't do anything up here, I've been wasting/spending time mapping out my last few years of school. I could get a history degree, along with my accounting degree, and it would only take me an extra year/year and a half. I'm debating doing this, but I don't know if it's practical. Since I plan on having an accounting career, and really, what can I do with a B.A. in history?
Don't say teach, because that would take me 59345 to get my teaching degree, along with my accounting degree.
I guess it all depends on where my life is. Taking the history classes, I mean. I would like to say that I finish my accounting degree, and then take the history classes, but there is no chance in hell that I'd want to go to school for another year and a half if I'm actually holding a college degree. Basically, if I'm going to decide, I have to decide by this November or December.
The fact that I'm thinking about it kinda tells me that I should go for it.
Ever since I got into CMU I've felt rushed to finish college. I think that it's starting to get to me. If I don't let myself chill out I'm going to freak out and decide to become a priest, or something.
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| If you smoke like I smoke, then you high like... every once in a while. |
[09 Oct 2009|01:13pm] |
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contemplative |
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Lucero - "1372 Overton Park" |
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"joey talks about a lot of things, has a lot of ideas, he dreams. thats whats great about him. he's also very fast paced and changing, but then underneath it seems like theres a slow moving current of introspect and real aspiration. i think there is a part of that that i can relate to more than other people i've met this year."
Josh Peek wrote that about me in his livejournal, way back when we had class together in high school.
I wonder if I'm anything like that anymore? I still feel like I have a drive, but not like I used too.
I think that is because the world is getting small, and I'm not as shocked and impressed by the way that the world works as I used to be.
I still want to go to Europe. That's one thing that I've always wanted to do. When I have the money, I will. I promise.
Ideally, I want my life to be like the hit comedy "Big Daddy" starring Adam Sandler and John Stewart.
I want to get my degree, and then just live off of my settlement money. Have a sweet ass apartment in the city, work one night a week at a toll booth.
Then maybe one day, someone will leave a kid at my doorstep, and I will comically raise the kid for a few months. People will cry at the end. Then I'll finally grow up and get a high-paying job with my degree and marry Joey Lauren Adams.
Oh, and buy a big surf board.
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| Doop |
[06 Oct 2009|01:07pm] |
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mood |
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sleepy |
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Last night I was supposed to work. Ian called me around 3 and said that he had an open spot on the guest list for the Loved Ones, Murder by Death, and Gaslight Anthem show. I called in to work and drove down to Lansing to hitch a ride with Ian and Adam.
This was the first time that I've done something spontaneous and irresponsible in a while. It felt great. The guys from the Loved Ones know Ian and Adam, so we all got to go back stage at the intersection and hang out with them and Murder by Death.
I'm paying for it today. I went to bed at around 3 30 am and got up at 7 am. I made it through my first class today, but I have a math exam coming up and I am just super super tired.
I think it was worth it, though.
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| We're In This Together |
[04 Oct 2009|02:04am] |
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drunk |
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Fall is such a bummer for me these days. I used to love fall. Fall always represented some exciting new change for me, starting another year of high school, moving out on my own for the first time, first date, first serious girlfriend.
I don't think that I'm unhappy now, I'm just getting older, and dealing with a different part of growing up. I am not longer, as Britney Spears put it "Not a girl, not yet a woman" but on the cusp of being a real, live, grown-up. I am more than likely going to be married and having kids in the next five to ten years.
Scary.
Fall, come back, I miss your magic.
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| Piss Drink |
[02 Oct 2009|11:55am] |
OMG, I'm updating from class! I'm such a troublemaker.
Not really.
I'm not a big fan of this computer lab class. It's my only Friday class, and we meet for 50 min.
This kid in front of me has his laptop on his lap, and his desktop on his desk. He is using both of them for some reason. I wish he would fuck off.
Went to Lansing last night, back in Mt. Pleasant today, heading back to Lansing tonight.
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| I wanna party! |
[30 Sep 2009|10:19pm] |
Today, after work, I was eating in the cafeteria and I overheard some freshmen talking. They were talking about if they should go to their high school's homecoming game, and if they did, if it would be okay to go to the dance after.
Who wants to go to Holt's homecoming game/dance with me? Promise that we'll go piss-ass drunk.
Or just hang out, get drunk, and talk about how funny it would be if we did go to the game.
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| Assignment 2 |
[30 Sep 2009|02:46am] |
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aggravated |
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Digger |
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It's quarter to 3 and I'm still not done with my paper.
I've had the document open for hours, but I've found other things more interesting.
I can't wait to come to Lansing this weekend.
"End is Forever" by The Ataris is my favorite puberty album.
I wish that I would have found this band in high school. Digger is pretty much my perfect pop/punk/cheesy band.
I'm lost at sea, and every wave looks the same I wake up in the morning, I can't remember my name Cause baby I sank all my ships for you The Ninja , the Pinto, the Dan Marino They're all ship wrecked, I guess that's just what I go through and I can't find the island that's you I guess you could blame me, If you cared anymore I'm in this beat up lifeboat I can't get through the waves to the shore
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| I guess I just misunderstood pt.II |
[28 Sep 2009|01:06am] |
In 12th grade I drove up to Petoskey for the sheer fuck of it.
Well, not really.
I went up there to figure my shit out. I had no idea what I was doing, I thought that I was in love, I was about to move to Texas, and for some fucking reason I decided to drive all the way up to Petoskey to figure my shit out.
I sat up there, by the lighthouse, watched the sunset, and I really did figure my shit out.
I came back home, and life went how it was supposed to for quite a while. Then, I was taken off autopilot and I fucked everything up again. Now it's good again. Oh, the roller coaster of life.
Life has this weird way of fucking with you, and whenever I think about it too much, I either want to laugh hysterically, or cry uncontrollably. I can never tell which one it's going to be.
Life has gotten too dull and routine up here, so I decided to do something about it.
Details on that later.
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| If only mom and dad could see you now |
[27 Sep 2009|07:47pm] |
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mood |
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hungry |
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Samiam |
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Work shorted me my free meal today, so I shorted them the last 1/2 hour of my shift.
Don't pay someone minimum wage, and then take away the only perk that they get.
Another week of school starts tomorrow. I'm not even halfway through the semester, and I want it to be over with.
Went to East Tawas this weekend, it was great. Justyne came up for the weekend, it was great.
I'm coming back to Lansing next weekend, yay!
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| It's the economy, tough times |
[25 Sep 2009|02:17am] |
Mt. Pleasant can be fun.
Not fun like in high school, when we would drive up here, stay at robinson hall, and eat at pixy. Grown up fun. Bars, drinks, casino...
I know you wanna get away I know nothing ever stays the same And, Jenny, I've been thinking things over I know thinking never got me far The bottle gets me further So come stand a little closer now
I had shit figured out for like, ten(10) minutes, then I lost it.
Who still reads my livejournal?
I miss the days when I could hit the refresh button on my friends page and see new entries.
In high school, minimum wage was $5 and some change. Now it's $7.40. How could I work three(3) days then and have enough bullshit money to last me, while now, I work three(4) days a week and can't even afford to go to Holt when I want to?
I haven't bought cigarettes in three(3) weeks, so technically, I've saved $105. That's pretty good. They were such a waste of money.
I want to be nervous to hold a girl's hand again. Innocence is a horrible fucking trick.
Spring of 2011, I'm going to be a real grown-up. How exciting.
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| Waiting for October |
[24 Sep 2009|03:34pm] |
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anxious |
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Polaris |
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I dozed off in my math class today for about 5 min. Before I dozed off, we were talking about multiplying fractions, when I woke up we were talking about how Gerald Ford made his way to president.
This is why I don't get math.
I'm coming up on three(3) weeks of not smoking. I think that I'm over the worst part, I don't have insane cravings anymore, and I'm not as irritable. The only problem that I have is if I start drinking. I can make it through about two(2) beers, then I really want a cigarette. Luckily I have been avoiding the bar most nights. I go maybe once or twice a week these days.
Holt doesn't feel like home anymore. When I'm up here in Mt. Pleasant, I miss Holt. When I get back to Holt, I don't "feel it" is the best way that I can put it. It's like I'm homesick for a place that isn't there.
I'm pretty sure that I just accidentally quoted "Garden State". That's how I feel though.
I think that I need to find a place to live with some roommates. This living by myself jazz only has so many perks.
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